Let It Be

Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”

Luke 1:38

This verse has never EVER been more significant to me than as of yesterday. Let me elaborate for you.

Yesterday was a normal day. Nothing extremely out of the ordinary. It was a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) day. So I got my kids ready and we went. It was a good time with a great talk and even more excellent discussion. All of a sudden though half way through the speakers talk my heart started pounding and all of a sudden I began to be overly anxious. And not in a good way. I felt there was something deeply wrong but I couldn’t pinpoint it. I sent a text my husband to see if he was ok, and he was. My girls were fine and Shane was with Matt. The only thing that I could think of was that this was something spiritual. I wanted to burst out crying! And the worst part about this was I didn’t even know what I wanted to cry about. So after the speaker was done we broke up into our small groups to chat. It was great and I enjoyed it. But some of the topics made me want to run out of the room, get into my car, drive away and cry. Weird? Yes. Explanation? None. So finally group was done and I hurriedly gather my delicious cookies I made, grabbed my children got into the car and drove home. I started crying in the car. “God.” I said. “I don’t understand what this feeling is and I can’t shake it. Please help me to figure out what is going on!” The instant I got home I asked my hubby if I could go to my favorite coffee shop (yup. Dunn Bros) and put my headphones in, read the Word, soak in worship & write. He saw my dire need for this and let me go. It was a good time. Nothing significant happened. I sat there for about and hour and wrote. The main sentence that I wrote was: “Draw Me Away” Interesting. So I went home and did feel a little better. Less shaken up and felt as if I had overcome that little bout of anxiousness. Right.

So on Tuesday nights  we have a women’s group that my mom, sis and I head up (which is usually the Tuesday opposite of Mops). Well this Tuesday we decided we would all attend “Twirl”. Which is what a local church “The Crossing” heads up every couple of months for women and women only. So we all went, at least most of us did. It was a blast and they had AMAZING things to say and great tips on other things. Well again, halfway through the night my anxious feeling came back! I was like COME ON! So they eventually came to talking about Mary. Jesus’ mother Mary. They were talking about how the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary and told her that she was “HIGHLY FAVORED” or “GOD’S FAVORITE ONE” and the God had a special plan for Mary’s life. She would birth a son and He would become King of the Jews and the savior to the world. They spoke of how Mary didn’t know how this would be possible and how she didn’t understand how she could be God’s favorite one. Two points here, Point #1: We are God’s favorite… each and every on of us, and we all struggle believing that. Even Mary. Point #2: God has big plans for all of us whether we think they are possible to achieve or not. So the angel had to tell Mary that she was God’s favorite TWO times before she got it and one time he told her the plan God had for her, then he continued on to tell her that NOTHING with God is impossible. So yes. Even Mary had a hard time believe the things of God. So at this point of the talk my brain starts working and thinking and then, click, click click! I know why I am SO anxious! As most of you know Matt & I have planned to move to KC sometime in the near future. As of late though we have debated moving. Mostly because we have made new friends, old ones are growing and family is here. So in all honesty… I can safely say that I (personally) don’t want to move to KC. Not because I don’t like KC but because Minnesota is my home. I like it here. To move would be hard. And the more time I spend here, the harder it gets. Yes we don’t plan on living there forever, just for a couple of years and then we plan to move back. But it hit me like a ton of bricks at TWIRL. This is what God has for me. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I don’t want to do it. But YES, I want to do what God desires of me and to stick with His plan for my life and my husband’s. So I had to say “Let it be to me God the plan You have for my life”. To accept that is hard, but being in His will is FAR better than to life it on my own. So to end the Twirl evening they sang the song “Let It Be” by the Beatles. I never had a harder time singing a song than last night singing this one. The first verse I couldn’t sing and then I thought I would try. I started singing and the instant I did I knew I was going to cry. I tried to hold it back. I started to squeeze my mom’s hand (because everyone was holding hands) to try to not cry, and then by the third time I sang the words Let It Be… I cracked. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and I BAWLED! Tears & snot everywhere! Ok maybe not so much snot, but I was sniffling 😉 I leaned on my mom’s shoulder and just let the tears flow. At that point I felt God say, “This is the plan I have for you. To go to KC. Your plan is different from those around you, I love you and will not forsake you, everything will work out.” I was also crying because I am sad to leave my new friends, close friends and family behind. But on the flipside I am excited to see what God has in store for us and our little family.I am going to have to work on a new level of faith and trust in God for all of this.

So in closing I have put the lyrics to “let it be” by the beatles for you. Maybe there is something you need to give up fighting with God on and say “Let It Be”

Let It Be – By the Beatles

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.



4 Comments Add yours

  1. Alicia says:

    Thanks for sharing your heart! I love that you were real. Its hard to do what our flesh doesn’t want to do! BUT, following the Lord isn’t easy. Way to get a great attitude about the change! It wouldn’t have had the same outcome if you had a bad one 🙂

  2. Krystal says:

    OH friend. I love your honesty and your heart. The Lord has great plans for you, and taking the step towards it can be hard, but I promise, every time we take our initial step, He shows up and even thought it can be hard, there is SO much peace in it because we are being obedient! and, not not only does he have plans for you and matt, but for Sarea and Brielle and Shane!!!! (sorry to say but it’s probably more for them 🙂 I love you, and personally,CANT WAIT till we live in the same city! WHATTTTT

  3. I’m so proud of you! Thank you for sharing your story!
    Love you girl!

  4. Did you know that I love you? 🙂 Very much. I am so thankful for your friendship. I know that the decisions you have had to make and are making have been difficult but, girl, the LORD will sustain you and your family. Even though KC means you will be a boring Iowan road trip away 😉 I WILL DRIVE IT! With cruise on so I don’t get speeding tickets.

    I am thrilled to see what the Lord is going to do through your family. I love you and am praying for you and will be coming over soon to eat mini Cliff bars and drink coffee. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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