This is something I wrote in reflection on the time while my hubby was in another state for 6 weeks. I hope this helps those who are in a similar situation. Finding themselves alone.
THIS IS A PLACE OF CHALLENGE I am pushed beyond my “comfort zone”. Beyond my boundaries. Sometimes I am able to jump in feet first to a challenge and other times I feel shoved into the vast unknown.
IN THIS PLACE I FEEL ALONE No one seems to understand. No one seems to truly care, or desire to care. At night I cry, I curl up underneath my blankets and try not to let my fears overcome my thought life.
IN THIS PLACE I AM ANGRY I am angry at the circumstance, I am angry with myself. I am angry with God. Even though I know there is a reason behind this season, I still cannot help but feel anger.
IN THIS PLACE I EXPERIENCE GRACE Even in my weakness, my anger and frustration I find grace. Grace that envelops me. I cannot deny that it is there. It holds me together in a way that is beyond words. He will truly never leave me, nor forsake me.
IN THIS PLACE I LEARN I learn His love for me. He is always there. He is my bridegroom God, keeping an eye on me from afar. He may not be here for me to see, but He is here for me to feel.
IN THIS PLACE I AM CHANGED He has grabbed my heart. He has taken care of me better than my own husband. He provided me with helpers and friends who loved me, even at my worst. When I thought there was no way out and that this was the most horrible experience ever, once I gave it to Him and surrendered all, He changed the outcome. How can I not be grateful? How could I not let Him change me. He has loved me through it all and was so gentle and caring towards me. My heart is now more tender towards my children, my husband, and even towards others going through similar (and most likely even harder) circumstances. And if that is all I have gained from this… I am thankful. I have learned to be grace, I have learned to give more grace and I have learned to love deeper.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS PLACE