Here we are driving. Just my hubby, me and our beautiful newborn little man. We had been able to sneak out of the house with the assurance the Nana and Baka (meaning grandpa) were listening for our 3 other little ones. As we are driving my husband tells me a story of a thought that ran through his mind about God being his Father and desiring to spend time with him, no matter what they were doing. My husband then asks the question “Why does God want to spend time with us?” I answered, very rehearsed like, “Because we are His creations and He wants to enjoy us and have us see His glory.” To which my hubby responds, “Yeah, but to experience it.”
Yeah but to experience it. To experience it rather than to KNOW it. We can have ALL the intellectual conversations all we want about God, but until we “experience” Him, we will never really truly “know” Him. We need to experience Him TO know Him. I said to my hubby that I know all the right answers to questions about God, but I want to have heart knowledge of His great desire for me than just the head knowledge of Him.
Before we made our move back home to MN, from our previous home in KC, I had gained a lot of heart knowledge in certain areas. Honestly? It was AMAZING!!! But you know what? I still have SO much more to learn, receive and gain from my Heavenly Father. Since moving back, I feel that I have fell into a lull. Like here I am back in my old place with all my familiar surroundings. How do I keep my heart before Him like I did in KC, and keep pushing for experiential knowledge of God? Not like KC was some magical place or anything, where God can ONLY work on me there. Because that is not true. It was because I was torn from my familiar surroundings, familiar ways and people and put into a place where I was forced to lean on the Almighty. So being put back into the familiar, it is a constant fight to not go back to old thoughts and ways of doing things. Just trying to get caught up with what everyone is doing and trying to stay focused on the path that God has for my family is a constant battle. A lot of the time I find myself wanting to check out because it all seems so overwhelming. Somehow in the midst I’ve forgotten that I still want to experience God. But here I am, feeling like I’m back at square one asking Him to reveal Himself to me, to make Him known and real to me again.
I’ve been stuck. Focused on my normal day to day stuff. Barely giving God a thought, and here I am. Soul, spirit, mind and body CRYING out for something more than this. Going, “God I know Your there and that You care and see what I do. I know who You are and what Your capable of, but do I TRULY know? I want to feel You, to experience You and who You are. I want You to become more real to me everyday. That prayers aren’t just plain prayers that fall to the ground, but that they MOVE heaven and earth. That angels move at the sound of our voices.” I’ve seen miracles in my own little family’s life in these last two years than I ever seen. And you know what, all the things I “thought” I knew about God were thrown out the window. Because God works in His own ways and not by our standards of how we think God ought to work. I’ve heard stories that you would think would only be another story in a book. But the God who wrote the Bible is a real and living God, and the stories in it are REAL stories that truly happened and some still happening today. How can we not want to experience such a God? Why do we want to intellectualize everything? Put God in a spot where we think we have Him figured out? He is bigger than us and His ways are higher and more holy than our weak human ways. All He wants to do is enjoy us and have us experience His great and sacrificial love for us. All we have to do is yield, to give up trying to figure Him out, because won’t, and to enjoy Him. Then you know what? Once we have that experience, we gain knowledge of Him and that knowledge is one that cannot be held in and must be shared with anyone and everyone. Because you will want others to know this AMAZING God who loves to love!
Have you had an awesome God experience? If so, please share in the comments, I LOVE hearing of people experiencing God and His glory!!
(Thanks for reading my late night rant 😉