Fear of not being seen

10. We Fear Missing Out

Of all our digital fears, the pain of getting left out seems to cut the deepest. As if it is some unwritten contract we signed, we believe that we will never miss out, as long as we enslave our attention to our phones. We pull down to refresh. And do it again. But Scripture tells us of a place none of us has seen, where everything we’ve ever missed out on in this life will be replaced and restored forever (Acts 3:21).”

(Read entire article here: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/denzel-your-phone-is-changing-you)

As one who constantly struggles with this issue of my phone being an extension of my hand, this is resonates so deeply within me. I am a borderline introvert/extrovert -which basically means I’m mostly introverted & get recharged & refreshed by spending time alone. However, there are seasons I go through where my extroversion shines through & I get so charged by being among groups of people. So being off social media becomes hard. Why? Because in this day and age if you don’t show up on social media you don’t exist. People forget about you. Its not entirely their fault you don’t hear about the upcoming parties because they couldn’t invite you on fb or they couldn’t get a hold of you because they don’t have your number & you don’t have fb messenger.  But also people are so distracted with being busy & what’s being currently put in front of their face, they only see the person who last posted an update & they forget to take time to stop & see how the people around them are doing. This isn’t true for everyone, but in a general sense it is true. And I don’t blame people for it, it happens to almost everyone. I mean how often do you think of others you don’t see on fb, IG or Snapchat? I’ve done it, I’ve forgotten about people because I’ve been distracted. But that’s the thing I hate the most. 
I’ve taken many breaks from social media for various of reasons, but the main reason that always drives a break is how I hate feeling distracted & disconnected from what is really happening around me. My kids shouldn’t have to fight for my attention, my husband & I shouldn’t be having broken conversation between texts & whomever I’m with shouldn’t feel like I don’t care about them because I’m too distracted thinking about if I got a message from that one new friend I made on instagram. However, when I do take a break I get this overwhelming sense of loneliness. Because when I’m off I essentially don’t exist. Suddenly the texts cease coming & the thoughtful coffee drop offs stop. Why? Because I hadn’t posted for the world to know that my baby didn’t sleep the night before & I’m running on empty. So when I read the above quote from an article it really hit home for me. Especially that last section, 

“But Scripture tells us of a place none of us has seen, where everything we’ve ever missed out on in this life will be replaced and restored forever (Acts 3:21).”

So why should taking a break bother me? Who cares if the world doesn’t know I didn’t sleep? Who cares if someone isn’t spurred on to a kind gesture of dropping of a coffee? (Which really truly is a kind gesture friends! Please don’t stop helping others when you see a need or a cry for help on social media!) Who cares if I wasn’t invited to the fun event? We all have this deep longing to be seen, heard & loved. That’s why! But you know who does see me? Jesus. He sees me, He cares & He knows my needs & is so dedicated to meeting each of my needs as He sees fit! And truly If it was someone who really cared about me they would make sure to find a way to invite me to their event. I am not ultimately forgotten! Sometimes loneliness is an all in your head kind of thing & we need to remember there are those who truly care about us! It’s just hard when we don’t get that immediate reaction that social media provides us with so well! We’ve gotten addicted to it. BUT loneliness is a REAL thing too & we can’t ignore that feeling, but social media isn’t the cure. And God is the Ancient of Days, He sees all, knows all & is sooooo good. If we ask & seek Him, He will provide. 

Not every one of my actions is for the whole world to see. That’s exhausting! It’s SO exhausting trying to make a mark on society when everyone is trying to do the same. I want my mark to be made in the secret place. I need to get back to that. The secret place. Even if it appears to social media that I don’t exist, I do. I want to be the one who loves on others quietly. I know so many AMAZING women who aren’t known by all but only by the few they’ve touched with their quiet & gentle spirit. They are also widely known in heaven, because they’ve raided heaven with their prayers & God knows them well. Angels & demons move at the sound of these women’s powerful voices. Oh how I desire that!

So… who cares if I don’t exist for all to see all the time? Who cares if I miss out? I want to keep my eyes focused on the age to come because that’s the life I TRULY don’t want to miss out on. 

#paradigmshift #upwardgaze #perspectiveshange

(Disclaimer: this entire post is from a cry within my heart & also a major realization that the eyes of my heart have been too much focused elsewhere. This is in no way aimed at or attacking anyone or even saying that you are bad human because you use a phone & are on social media. Not at all! I just wanted to share my hearts cry because I felt there may be a few others that needed to read this post because they feel the same pull. 

Also! If you are in that lonely feeling place know that you are never truly alone & that God sees you & He loves you. Deeply. If you ever need an encouragement, shoot me an email & I’d love to converse with you. ellewall3@yahoo.com

Blessings my friends!! ❤️)

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